Skip past navigation, straight to the content

Category Archives: Life

If you don’t know me, this will be pretty boring. If you do know me, it will be tedious.

Lowering the bar

  • Drawing of Filipe Fortes

Whenever I go a long time without writing, my bar for what deserves to be posted here increases. Posts about food on a stick seem like such a crass way to break weeks-long silences — like calling up an old friend you haven’t seen in years only to ask for a restaurant recommendation.

After spending a month in Seattle, I’m back in Florida for a couple of weeks. Then, I go back to Seattle. Futher updates as my standards lower …

In the mean time, check out my fourth favorite song released this year:

The first half of the video is so-so, but like the song, the second half always puts me in a good mood.

So … what’s next?

Now that I’m back from China, I’ve (unsurprisingly) been getting a lot of question about what I’m doing next.

On the immediate horizon:

  • Nov 1st (this Wednesday): Leave for Gainesville to visit parents
  • Nov 4th: My sister’s wedding in St. Augustine
  • Nov 5th-10th: Be a Florida tour guide for my cousins visiting from Portugal. The current plan is to visit Miami, the Keys, and the Everglades.
  • Nov 11th-28th: Return to Seattle with one of my cousins … still haven’t figured out where we’ll be going yet (perhaps Yellowstone?), but it will mean a bit more domestic travel.

Longer term: I don’t know yet. I’m seriously considering living in Buenos Aires for three months starting in January, trading Seattle winter for a bit of southern hemisphere steak, sun, spanish, and wine. Aside from that, I’ll be doing a few independent projects on my own — more about those soon (when I have something to talk about).

Clearing Out

I’ve got some time to kill before I leave China in a few hours.

I had a long list of things that I meant to write up in my inimitable, heart-wrenchingly awesome style. I never got around to them, but here are some of them in a quick list:

  • Transportation: Very diverse and adjustable — also includes rare species of vehicles, many with three wheels (cargo bicycles, three-wheeled tractors, etc)
  • Beijing Accent: Heavy on the “arrrrrr” — it’s kind of like living in a city of pirates
  • Yelling: It’s not mean, it’s not rude, it’s just a common way of speaking in a very loud country
  • Comb overs: Far more common in China. Some of them are awesome, although I never got around to taking pictures.
  • Telling jokes with minimal vocabulary: As a foreigner, you have a lot of the same conversations. Even with your limited vocabulary, there are
    some easy ways to get a laugh (mostly at your own expense). [e.g. For some reason, every one keeps on asking if I'm cold or insisting I wear a jacket. I tell them I don't need one because I'm too fat. Always gets a laugh.]
  • Over-employment: With 1.3 billion people, you need to make sure each job is way overstaffed. This is especially noticeable in restaurants, elevator ladies, and on the subway (Three people are involved during the subway transfer on my daily commute: #1: Takes the ticket I bought on Line 2, rips it and throws it away; #2: Gives me a new ticket for Line 13; #3 Watches to make sure the machine takes my Line 13 ticket).
  • Phone Ringers: No one puts their phone on vibrate / how I’m out of touch with modern society and can’t understand the appeal of custom ringtones
  • Things I’ll miss: Food, constant novelty, learning Mandarin, interesting people, and the humongous, inflated ego that comes from so frequently being the center of attention
  • Things I won’t miss: Pollution, spitting, the toilets, being illiterate, and the constant “Hello!” sound that follows me everywhere

New Photos

If you’re not checking my Flickr page, then you may have missed the photos I’ve posted from my travels to Hunan, Yunnan, and Zhejiang. Here are my favorites from the trip:

  • Cave, Zhangjiajie, China
  • Mountains, Zhangjiajie, China

    The very large national park, Zhangjiajie (more photos).

  • Temple and Bridge, Lijiang, Yunnan, China

    The beautiful old city and nearby Yuelong Xueshan (more photos).

  • West Lake, Hangzhou, China

    Hangzhou, and it’s large, man-made, concrete-encompassed West Lake (more photos).

The China Diet

I’ve decided to share the secret of my weight loss with the world by writing a book! It’ll be available in early 2007, but here’s a sneak peek:

The China Diet™ is not your traditional diet plan! Instead, you’ll be encouraged to see a new part of the world, learn a new language, and try new foods! You’ll find plenty of information in the China Diet™ book to guide you on your journey to weight loss!

“The real secret to the China Diet™ is that it’s not just a diet, it’s a new and delicious way of looking at life!”

The diet is incredibly simple! There are only three rules:

  1. Move to China: What could be more exciting than living in another country! Just pack a few bags (don’t bring too many clothes! They won’t fit after a while, and they’re cheap here anyway). Warning: This diet does not work if you are Chinese or already speak Chinese
  2. Eat as the locals do: No cheating by going to McDonald’s or Pizza Hut, no matter how much you want it! In fact, avoid places that speak English altogether.
  3. No antibiotics: Um … this will make sense in a few minutes

How it works

The China Diet™ diet utilizes the barrier system, ensuring that fewer and fewer calories make it into your body! There are three barriers Great Walls that work in concert:

  1. Language The first wall begins working as soon as you arrive in China! Since you don’t speak the language procuring food becomes significantly more difficult! You’ll often find yourself skipping meals in order to avoid the stress of not being able to communicate.

    This also has the advantage of dramatically increasing your motivation for learning the language! This is both an advantage and a drawback, as the effectiveness of this wall fades as you learn to speak.

  2. Taste The second wall is the most subtle, but is the most effective in the long run! By eating local foods, you’ll encounter many strange tastes that you’ve haven’t been exposed to in your home country: Meat-based desserts, animals you’ve never heard of, and many more! Before long, you’ll find that your appetite has significantly decreased!

  3. Gastro-intestinal The third wall isn’t very pleasant to talk about, but it works incredibly well as the final line of defense.

Testimonials

“With the China Diet™ I can fit in my prom dress again! WOO!” - IMissHighSchool1997 in Beijing

“I’ve lost 15 pounds in two months of living in China. I’m actually trying to gain weight by eating a big bowl of oatmeal everyday before going to bed!” - Oatmeal4Life in Shenzhen

“Even the Chinese massage girls ask me what’s my secret for staying so thin!” - MassageDude in Beijing

The China Diet™: In stores Spring 2007

Preorder your copy today!

Weight Loss

  • Filipe Fortes at the Forbidden City, Beijing, China

Apparently, I’ve lost a fair amount of weight in China. I’m not very good at noticing changes in my weight, but when my parents visited last week they noticed immediately.

I found a scale at a hotel a couple, I currently weigh around 165 pounds (75 kilos). This is ten pounds less than I weighed throughout high school, 15-20 less than before I left for China, and an amazing 35 pounds (!) less than my peak last year, when I wasn’t living a very healthy lifestyle (since fixed). The funny thing is, I don’t feel that different — my belt no longer fits me, but I didn’t feel fat before and I don’t feel thin now.

Looking through photos, I can start to see a bit of difference:

  • Filipe Fortes, Seattle, Washington

    May 2006: Disgustingly Fat?

  • Filipe Fortes, in Taroko, Taiwan

    March 2005: Morbidly obese?

In Lijiang

Quick thoughts and updates:

  • Lijiang’s old city is gorgeous. It’s the nicest (and cleanest) city I’ve seen in China yet. Very little pollution, no cars in the old city, and cool architecture
  • Chinese tourists outnumber foreign tourist by at least 10:1
  • Unfortunately, both my mom and I caught a fever and cold while in Hunan; we spend most of yesterday resting and reading. It also rained most of yesterday too, so we didn’t actually miss much.
  • There was a bit of sunshine this morning, but it’s started to rain again this afternoon. I haven’t gotten a clear view of the mountains yet. Hopefully tomorrow.

That’s all! I won’t have pictures for a while, perhaps only after I return to the US at the end of the month.

Weirdest thing I’ve seen in China … today

Strange things happen when you live in China, and they happen frequently. As my friend Demetri frequently says: “That’s the weirdest thing I’ve seen in China … today.”

My turn — here’s what happened to me tonight:

My mom and I were riding in a taxi that got pulled over by police. The taxi stops for a bit, then pulls back out into the street and drives away. The police motorcycle immediately starts chasing the cab driver, who is now speeding down wrong side of the street. Our high speed chase is made complete by the driver’s techno music.

The motorcycle is clearly faster and more manueverable than our late-model cab. Undeterred, the cab does a couple of U-turns on the town’s main boulevard, going back and forth at high speeds on the riverside strip.

After about five minutes, the driver turned off the meter.

The motorcycle kept close chase, following the cab through lane changes, U-turns, and into many trips on the wrong side of the road. Our driver had balls of steel; he won every chicken match with the cars and trucks driving the opposite direction.

Despite the driver’s best efforts, we managed to avoid killing any pedestrians.

Somehow, after about 10 minutes, we lost the cops. We were able to quickly jump out of the cab, who sped off without fare.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

Final two weeks

I’m in Chángshā, the capitol of the Húnán province. We’ll spend three days touring the Zhāngjiājiè national park.

While my father is stuck working, my mother and I are going to Lìjiāng in Yúnnán. After a few days there, I’ll go off on my own to Hángzhōu, where I’ll figure out how to get back to Běijīng before returning to the states on the 29th.

Three Beaches

  • Gansu, China

Three beaches national park was a fun, relaxing time. We did three nice day hikes, one along the river, and two up to the hills over looking Moon Canyon.

  • Gansu, China

If you’re looking to visit, note that it rains often and lower your expectations for the food — it isn’t that great (and such small portions).

  • Gansu, China

I’m in a rush as I try to wrap up my life here in Beijing, so I don’t have time for a full write-up, but other vacation highlights include: an impromptu hip-hop performance for about 200 people on stage in small town China (for which we were paid three bags of detergent), trying (and failing spectacularly) to see the 3,767m Mount Taibai in Shaanxi, cheap massages, and delicious lamb.

  • Cooking, Baoji, China

See more pictures from the vacation in my Chinese midwest photoset.

October Holiday

In a few hours I will leave to travel outside of Beijing for the fourth (and then fifth) weekend in a row. I’m going to the Gānsù province in central China.

I’ll be travelling for 7 days for during the week-long October Holiday which starts with China’s National Day on October 1st. Pretty much everyone in the country has the week off, and apparently a large number of them travel during that week. China has around 1.3 billion people — I predict zero traffic problems.

I’m looking forward to the trip, we’ll be spending in Three Beaches National park taking in the chinese countryside and eating delicious sichuan food (mmm… spicy).

Getting to the park will be a mini-adventure: a flight from Beijing to Xī’ān, followed by a standing room only train (everything else was sold out) from Xī’ān to Bǎojī, followed by a 6 hour bus ride that should get us within striking distance of the park.

Aside: I had never heard of the city of Bǎojī and I doubt you had either, unless you’re chinese. I figured it was a relatively small town with a train station — wrong. Apparently it is the 25th largest city in China, with a population of 3.7 million — roughly the size of the Seattle metro area, and slightly less than the number of people inside of Los Angeles city limits).

We’re thinking of venturing out from the park, possibly to Lánzhōu (population 3.2 million) — although after reading this, perhaps we should reconsider:

Lanzhou is said to be one of the most polluted cities in China, if not around the world. The air quality is so poor that at times one can not see Lanshan, the mountain rising straight up along the south side of the city. The city is located in a narrow river valley with an unfortunate curve causing it to be hemmed in with no free air flow. Lanzhou is also the home of many factories including petroleum processing, and suffers from large dust storms kicked up from the Gobi Desert, especially in the winter and spring.

Yángshuò

  • Pagoda, Yangshuo, China

Last weekend, I visited Yángshuò, a small “village” near the famous Guìlín in beautiful the Guăngxī province (please memorize all those names and spellings, there will be a test). The area is (rightly) famous for the gorgeous hills that do the landscape with surprisingly density.

The venerable Lonely Planet China guidebook (9th edition, approx 5.3 pounds) highlights Yángshuò, calling it a “Sleepy yet hip village — and travellers mecca — plunked within otherwordly topography.”

  • The city, Yangshuo, China

    Sleepy backpacker town?

The hills are definitely gorgeous, but the midwesterner in me has a hard time considering it a sleepy village (the traveler in me has a hard time seeing the “backpacker” aspect too).

I have friends who travelled to Yangshuo two to three years ago, and from their stories it sounds like the city has changed significantly since then. I’ve only been to five cities in China, but they’ve all had two things in common: ubiquitous construction — and significant pollution (its the first time I’ve had any issues with allergies here).

  • Pollution, Yangshuo, China

    The hills before my photoshopping

I hope I caught the town on a bad weekend, because it really is one of the most gorgeous places on earth.

  • The 20 Yuan bill, Yangshuo, China

    You can also see this from the comfort of your home on a 20 Yuan bill

Yángshuò is supposedly the Guìlín for the younger, backpacker crowd. The most famous part of town is Xi Jie, which literally means “West Street” but is more commonly known as “Foreigner Street” because it’s full of hotels and tourist shops originally aimed at backpacking westerners.

I said “originally” for two reasons: first, the majority of western toursits I saw were tour groups comprised of older people. Second, the street is increasingly dominated by domestic chinese taking in a slice of western culture (much like a Chinatown in the US). I copied this text from a guidebook in our hotel (written in Chinese, Japanese, and English — I didn’t fix the minor english mistakes):

Built 1400 years ago, it is also named Foreigners Street and full of human culture attractions with international atmosphere all around. Here the waiters in Bar, restaurant, Internet club and workmanship shop, ordinary residents, even the granny selling the fruits in the street can speak English fluently. Visiting the West Street is a complete experience — you can find that the pure western living way is existing in this Chinese simple countryside, the surprising internation element is contained in such unsophisticated folkway. On West Street, the local foods such as Sticky Rice Cake, Rice Noodle, and the Italian Coffee and Western-Style food, Ancient Chinese Painting, the most popular fashion, Chinese, English, French, Italian and Spanish etc are gathered together here. It looks like impossible, but it is really true. They are all mixed in this 100m long of street. The people here — whether the outer nor the inner, is exactly a group of liver. Here is an ideal leisure place for everyone. You only bring a book, or a few of CD, invite your good friends, turn off Mobile phone and portable computer, drink a cup of coffee or tea, then you will spend a nice time in beautiful scene and music, and know really what the life is.

Aside: The level of English in Yángshuò really is impressive; most everyone there speaks far better english than I speak chinese — which doesn’t say much. It compares favorably to the amount of english spoken in the parts of Thailand I visited (both places trounce Beijing, which will pose an interesting challenge for the Olympics in two years).

Checkout the rest of the photos in my Yángshuò photoset.